How to be a model parent and bring up your kids as independent socially adapted individuals? This and many other similar questions constitute a problem of creation for your offspring favorable conditions to develop and grow up. Modern parents have a fear to be too indulgent towards their successors, which often results into an unreasonably strict behavior as well as inability to control a child or become a person your kid would like to take after.
There is a wide range of reasons why parents can’t find compromise with their children, hence, use quite strict methods of upbringing. Firstly, parents try to protect their kids from a negative impact of the society we live in imposing their rules, beliefs and interests on their offspring. Set of restrictions that parents invent for their kids and which is explained by a huge love and fear for their little sons and daughters is nothing else but deprivation kids of their rights and duties. Overprotective attitude doesn’t exert a positive influence on your children. Moreover, it makes them indecisive, characterless people, who often lack leadership skills at work and life in general.
Secondly, parents’ strict behavior is explained by a desire to prevent a child from mistakes they’ve done before. On the one hand it’s quite natural to wish your kid all the best and do anything possible to not let him be hurt. However, your life experience can’t be transmitted to your son’s or daughter’s life experience. And no matter how much you want your kids to learn on your mistakes, it is too hard to make them act the way you would like to. The best option is to talk with your children and help them understand the roots of your anxiety and sometimes strict limitations or bans.
Finally, the third major reason of strictness that parents display regarding their children is the echo of the part model of upbringing, which was based on corporal punishments for disobey, misbehavior and etc. Such tradition to treat children as inferior has been engraved in our grandparents’ and parents’ memories as it was a common approach for bringing up for centuries. No surprise that it is hard to get rid of a habit, which seems like have existed since the beginning of the humanity.
However, we can’t suggest an option of a complete freedom while talking about the methods of raising our kids. The simple reason is that children are not mature enough to act, choose or justify things correctly. Moreover, conscious indulgence of your children’s needs, desires and whims leads to kids’ abusive behavior in the future.
To sum up, the issue of bringing up kids is quite ambiguous and requires a thorough contemplation as well as a unique and individual approach. Despite parents’ strictness is justified by worry, anxiety and a desire to protect their children or is a result of their “difficult” childhood, it should have its limits and measures in order not to ruin your kids’ lives when they are adults.